Thursday, January 21, 2010

A Helping Condom

Free Sex!
(Pre-marital sex included)
Some people want it.
Some people don’t want to have anything to do with it.


The dispute is ages long.

And it also happens here, in Indonesia.

However, not so long ago, right in the middle of the dispute, another issue came out.

- Some people had shared condoms in nightclubs for free
- The emergence of a plan to build condom vending machines
In short: actions that will provide easier access to condoms

And just like before, there are “yay!”s and “nay!”s.


I used to support the “yay!”s.
But, I don’t anymore.

If you look at it closely, there is something interesting about the groups of the second issue.
The second issue’s “yay!”s and “nay!”s DO NOT correspond with the first issue’s “yay!”s and “nay!”s.
The second issue’s “yay!” group is not a part of the first issue’s “yay!” group; it belongs to the first issue’s “nay!”s.

What I’m trying to say is that, most Indonesian people who support for easier condom access DO NOT believe in free sex. They are actually against it. They are just concerned about people who may catch on the disease.

As much as I respect these kind-hearted people, I have to disagree with their reason.

I think, if you want to support easier condom access, you have to do it FIRSTLY because you believe in free sex.
If you don’t believe in it, don’t support it to prevent the doers from catching sexually transmitted diseases. You can help them by other means, but not by giving them easier access to condoms.

THERE IS A LIMIT IN THE AMOUNT OF HELP YOU CAN GIVE.
There is a time when a help is not helpful anymore.
There is a point that if you decide to go over and give more help than you should, the problem will only become much worse.
Believe me, I know this by heart.
The last thing you want to do is taking away their chance to learn, grow, and see for themselves.
You don’t want to take away their chance to become a responsible, complete, mature person, right?

You can give them help by providing grounds to decide (in this particular problem, complete information about the risks). After that, it’s totally up to them to decide.

Sometimes, the last thing a person needs is a well-intentioned-interference.

23 comments:

  1. please tell this to her please. (T_T) i'm dying to get her this message. and you make it sounds so Twisted and difficult @_@ with condoms analogy haha

    ReplyDelete
  2. he? what for? is it related with anything?

    yeah, actually I did want to write about the condoms. it wasn't merely an analogy.
    but I got carried away when I wrote the 'there's a limit in the amount of...' part. because the concept is a dear to me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. He actually wrote this by my request..hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  4. ...After that, it’s totally up to them to decide.

    choice is a luxury for most.

    ReplyDelete
  5. yeah, thanks.
    a touch of reality. I lack that sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  6. haha
    sorry, a bad habit of mine...
    really appreciate reading your thoughts in writings. What a soul searching, I must say.
    too bad time doesn't permit us to meet mano a mano.

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Some people had shared condoms in nightclubs for free.."

    It's really disgusting... (cmiiw for the word).

    How can they shared it....

    ReplyDelete
  8. hm, i'm contrast to you hub.

    I don't really believe at free sex, but I believe there are very much people (you can't imagine how much) that really use this..

    From my friend that used to have a free sex, there are so many people who are using condoms. So if you say 'nay', you can imagine how much STD, unwanted pregnant etc can happen.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say based on the two comments.

    But let me emphasize this.

    I RECOMMEND people who are engaged in free sex to wear protection to prevent STDs and unwanted pregnancies.

    ReplyDelete
  11. if i know this comment are coming i wouldn't deleted the post..but oh well i'll post it here anyway.

    @vincent : ....Bwahahahahahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  12. Now it is my turn:

    Bwahahahahaha....

    ReplyDelete
  13. finally..after several times trying 2 open this miraculous blog, here we go:
    I go with the 'nay!'s, not because i don't respect responsibility or free will, but simply because it's such a waste of money to put condom vending machine ('easier access to free sex?'), it will be broken, or somebody will try to steal the lamp, or the box, or better the condoms, by 2 months top. ( i guess). If u really wanna do it, with or without those condoms vending machines, u can just go to the circle K or any marts, they sell it, sometimes near the cashier (why they put it here?2 prevent you feel embarassed carrying that thing along the way maybe). The access to condoms is still EASY.. :)
    Conclusion: I won't judge. Free sex is free will, condom vending machine won't change a thing. But, using condom is still safer to prevent std, so buy it first.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  15. eh? why circle K? is there a condom there? =P

    so let me get this straight..You agree the concept of free sex and condoms, but you think the condom machine is absurd?

    i think you're a guy.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ha...ha...ha... thanks wongky. i do lack of feminime side, remind me of that.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hahaha...but I think I kinda agree with her...its like what bertus trying to say...you don't have to interfere to much with the life of the freesexers...their rejection in a way saying "I don't need your hypocritical good deeds with you condom machine, I am pretty much okay with buying my own condom, thank you"

    ReplyDelete
  18. yeah, I agree.

    PS:
    @13uNny
    the fact that you're okay with free sex and say no to condom vending machines still amazes me.
    I'm happy to have you as my friend.
    :))

    ReplyDelete
  19. so it's true then..nice! i think i like you already hehe

    anyway do you guys know who 13uNnY is?

    ReplyDelete
  20. check out 'Edward's Special Lines', look at Mr.Eagle's last comment (12:28 AM).
    that should clear things up.

    ReplyDelete
  21. i love the part where u say and i quote: THERE IS A LIMIT IN THE AMOUNT OF HELP YOU CAN GIVE.

    i dun think vending machines or free condoms help really... especially if u hand it at night clubs... people who enters the night clubs are obviously have adequate money to buy condoms if they want to and adequately educated about STDs and unwanted pregnancies. So if they want a condom they wud freakin BUY it! (as mentioned above its easy to buy condoms..even in the middle of the night) if they dun wan a condom we cnt force them to one... after all they knew the risks and all.

    The limit here is sexual education... which i had proposed several times to our seniors/lecturers, non profit organizations, tht there shud be a sex ed class in high schools in indo esp in jkt...

    but their rejection is based on "if we give sex ed classes is the same as giving them the green lite for sex"

    and i feel like bashing their super egoistic ignorant big heads with tiny narrow mind of theirs! When will they accept and acknowledge that teenagers are having sex everywhere whether the adults wanna believe it or not. And dangerously, these teenagers have little to no education about sex and STDs and sex safety and all that...

    another thing about free condoms... in western countries, free condoms are distributed to those hobos and pros in trying to control an outbreak of AIDS n STDs as these ppl perhaps dun even hv money for food. So thus y i said promoting free condoms in night clubs doesn't help.

    hhhhhhh.....

    i think i wrote too much... but its exciting to discus this :P

    ReplyDelete
  22. yello!
    it's me. hehehehe.

    a sound opinion.

    I share your passionate frustration on such matters. at times we're deluded and can't help ourselves from falsely tight constricting religious perspective that is this country right now.

    we need to acknowledge the problem first, I guess.
    renunciation is doomed to fail.
    'what you reject is bound to you forever.'
    the solution is always a deeper understanding,
    not renunciation.

    ReplyDelete