It has come to my mind that the root of most my problems, if not all, is my insecurity.
I’m an insecure arrogant bastard.
How about that?
I feel I am better than anyone else but at the same time not sure about myself.
Such view has rendered myself to act only in two ways when I feel attacked.
Just hang for it, OK.
UPDATE
(please note that I just got back from Sunday mass, so I wrote this in a state of peace and serenity)
All of the above is worsen by the fact that I have no patience or tolerance for idiots who can’t see what they are, thus are acting smart while in fact everything they’ve ever said or thought is plainly steaming crap.
I’m an insecure arrogant bastard.
How about that?
I feel I am better than anyone else but at the same time not sure about myself.
Such view has rendered myself to act only in two ways when I feel attacked.
- If I consider the person who’s talking bad about me is better, I will submit myself to a dark gloomy state of self loathing and feeling sorry for myself for not being any better.
- If I consider him/her to be nothing better or even worse, I will lash out in anger to be taken lightly by a person I think is a total loser.
Just hang for it, OK.
UPDATE
(please note that I just got back from Sunday mass, so I wrote this in a state of peace and serenity)
All of the above is worsen by the fact that I have no patience or tolerance for idiots who can’t see what they are, thus are acting smart while in fact everything they’ve ever said or thought is plainly steaming crap.
and don't forget why in the first place you create this blog...don't involve your self loathing that much...or it will lose its purpose..haha
ReplyDeleteyep. I'm just trying to get to know myself better.
ReplyDeleteand release some tension.
thank you very much.
Now that you mention about insecurity..it's begining to make sense why i tend to be violent when people who i think no better then me crosses "the (My) lines".but i never down to self loathing if it happend otherwise..I've never let myself to think anybody's better than me, coz it'll take the best of me away.
ReplyDeleteYEP that's it i'm just not insecure..I'm simply an arrogant bastard...
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Naaahhhhh...not true.
p.s arrogant is not you, you're just insecure. because it's a normal reaction to be mad everybody does it.
Nope...U sure never down to self loathing...just other people (who cross your lives) loathing..hahaha...
ReplyDelete