You Are What You Love: A Reflection on Self

"You are what you love."

- Donald Kauffman in Adaptation

The quote is powerful, isn’t it? I got it from a blog I found the other day. In just five words, it is able to describe how you see (your perspective upon the world), what you value (everything that matters to you), and why you do (your tendencies, drives, actions); the things that are basically and brutally, your true existence, or basically and cautiously, the deeper aspects of YOU.

Let’s take one example.
A man who loves art is basically an artist.
Why wouldn’t he be?
He sees like artists do, he values what they value, he even does what they do.

Now, you may disagree with me here.
I mean, not everyone who loves art can create a work of art, right?

Well, I never consider the ‘do’ part as merely churning out masterpieces, but as something more intangible, the way he responses to beauty, how he naturally brings himself, his reflexes, and subtle actions. He may not be able to paint well, sing, or whatever a fine artist does, but he stays longer from anyone else in front of a beautiful view, he stares at paintings, he listens to music deeply, he appreciates beauty.
The same can be said upon other things. A person who loves to teach is basically a teacher, they who love to seek are basically seekers, and so on.

So if what we love defines who we are, what actually defines what we love?
I don’t know.
God, maybe? Perhaps we’re just born with it.
Or perhaps it’s the world and our life in it, which I deeply believe to be playing some role at the very least.

You may perceive all of this as a no-brainer, something that is too obvious, but you have to understand that it’s not that easy for me.

In all of these years, I have come to believe that the world is nothing but an illusion, a construct of the mind.
Man, to me, is a kind of creature with Godly potentials. They have the chance to become the Absolute itself. The only thing that keeps them from it is their attachments to things that aren’t actually real. So if you ask me who we are, I will say 'we are great beings who forget who we really are', rather than simply 'we are what we love'. Most people are trapped in things that look real but don’t really last.

What is wealth if not a way to acquire things you mostly don’t need?

What is success? An achievement? Well, what do we achieve? Financial security? A chance to prove ourselves? For what?

Why helping people out of their problems? Is it a must? We don’t even have a clue. Maybe their problems are exactly what they need in the first place. Maybe all we would do is adding more damage.

What is a friendship? Isn’t it just a contract to do what the other party expects in exchange for love?

And what is love if not an ancient process still embedded in the parts of our brain that have yet to evolve, originated from our state of sexual beings, and filled with dramatizations to conceal its true form? I mean, come on. The one? Love at first sight? The best thing we can get is a good friend who’s open to sex and willing to make a contract of mutual limitations. Will it be a one time thing? No. Will you be attracted to someone else? Yes. Will there be hardships? Hell yes. The problem with romantic movies is that they don’t usually display the boredom that accompanies day to day relationships.

I can go on and on talking about how I tend to see things as illusions, but I believe you’ve got my point. So now you know why saying that the world defines who we are is something big for me. How can this illusion defines the true essence of me? If there’s anything to it, it will be discarding the illusion and find my true form.

Nevertheless, here I am.

I guess it’s because in time I begin to learn more and more that the world is not merely an illusion. Sure, what we perceive of the world is basically constructs of the mind, but there is some reality in it. The constructions, whether they’re social or personal, may not be real, but the process beneath them is.

This world may be a dream, but the fact that I’m dreaming is not.

Maybe the mountain I see is not real, but the process of me thinking that I see it, is real.
Moreover, the thing, whatever it is, that provokes me into thinking that I see what I see is real too, because the change (which is me) is real.

It sounds a bit like jumping to conclusions, I know, but the bottom line is the world is real. Our constructions may not be, but the world is. The world has some value. Our life in it does. They are relevant.
That’s why it’s no wonder the world has some part in defining who we are. We are indeed shaped to be what we are in this reality.

Furthermore, if you’re being and doing what you love, won’t by then your being and your doing be free from interests, gains, or anything that will corrupt them? You’re being it because you are it, you’re doing it because you do it, the prime reason of all, a cause for itself. Isn’t it an act of true living? Isn’t it the deepest dive into reality?
And maybe, just maybe, in that state of purity and innocence, you will find God. Perhaps only by embracing who you are in this reality (instead of discarding it all together), no matter how ridiculous it maybe (lover, fighter, idea sharer, etc.), can you achieve your potentials and find God.
And regarding the question of who we are above, perhaps only by being and doing what we love devotedly, will we remember the great beings we are.

You are what you love. It’s more than just a statement of identity, at least for me. It’s a statement about truly embracing the world, our life, and who we are in it as a reality, to bring ourselves to God.