A Pampering and Some Breasts

A quick one.
I’m still doing my study don’t worry.

This is merely an observation. I’m not saying it’s good or bad.

There are two major aspects I find in a love relationship, INSECURITY and IDEALIZATION.

Okay, here’s when the rotten eggs get thrown at me.

Insecurity is mostly women’s problem and idealization is mostly men’s.




By insecurity I mean, one’s inability to love and believe in oneself that one must seek them from a spouse.
You may have heard a story from DeMello. The story goes like this.

Mother: "What does your girlfriend like in you?"
"She thinks I'm handsome, talented, clever, and a good dancer."
"And what do you like about her?"
"She thinks I'm handsome, talented, clever, and a good dancer."

You may find this absurd, but tell me how many times have you heard a woman who was asked about why she chose her current lover in the first place, answered, “Because he loves and cares for me…”?
In other words of course, I love you because you can give me anything I want, pamper me, protect me, tell me I’m pretty, etc, and hardly because of who you really are. Just imagine the level of insecurity.

Well, what about men?
Men have their own problem that is called idealization.
Idealization clouds men’s view, impedes them the ability to see the truth.
It transforms a perfectly normal girl who defecates at least once a day and farts in a regular basis to be a digestive-tract-less Heidi Klum.
They fail to see the true beauty and insert their own ideas of beauty.

So it’s no wonder in declining relationships to hear this sentence from women,

“Don’t you love me anymore?”

Or simply from men,

“Meh.”

(as in you’re not as pretty, smart, sophisticated, etc as I thought)

What they say actually represents what they expect most from a relationship;

a knight in the shining armor who’s always up for pampering for women

OR

a 36B goddess for men.

I wonder if a relationship based on mutual adoration between two secured, honest persons even exists. I hope it does; here, not in Shangri-La.