A week ago, I was having a discussion with some friends about the act of marriage when two questions came up.
What is your take in love (as in the romantic one)?
and
Does it exist?
This is what I came up.
Years ago, I believed everything about it, even its divine attribute, like ‘your soul mate is set in the heavens’.
Some time after that, I didn’t believe anything about it anymore. To me, it is no more than our biological tendency as sexual beings that because of our developed minds receives new values, such as friendship, devotion, monogamy, or even an unconditional state (just having the words biological and unconditional in one sentence alone does feel a bit odd, doesn’t it?).
That’s why I think love is almost impossible to define, because for the most part it’s filled with make-beliefs that are, of course, subjects of subjectivity.
So, does love exist objectively? Of course not.
But lately, I’ve begun to warm up to it again. My understanding hasn’t changed (I still believe that it’s a hyped up biological tendency), but my reaction towards it is not as harsh and more hopeful.
Does it exist, objectively? My answer is still no.
But does the fact that it exists mostly subjectively mean nothing at all? My answer is definitely hell no.
Now I say, if you believe in it, it exists, and if you don’t, it doesn’t.
The make-beliefs that I didn’t put into consideration before are now playing an important role.
Because if I believe in something, don't my views, my actions, and my whole entirety change according to it?
And if the effects are real, is it still easy to say that what I believe in doesn’t exist?
Perhaps that's the whole point about love. Its reality lies in the way we live the idea.
So consequently:
And on a more personal note, well, now I get to love again.
What is your take in love (as in the romantic one)?
and
Does it exist?
This is what I came up.
Years ago, I believed everything about it, even its divine attribute, like ‘your soul mate is set in the heavens’.
Some time after that, I didn’t believe anything about it anymore. To me, it is no more than our biological tendency as sexual beings that because of our developed minds receives new values, such as friendship, devotion, monogamy, or even an unconditional state (just having the words biological and unconditional in one sentence alone does feel a bit odd, doesn’t it?).
That’s why I think love is almost impossible to define, because for the most part it’s filled with make-beliefs that are, of course, subjects of subjectivity.
So, does love exist objectively? Of course not.
But lately, I’ve begun to warm up to it again. My understanding hasn’t changed (I still believe that it’s a hyped up biological tendency), but my reaction towards it is not as harsh and more hopeful.
Does it exist, objectively? My answer is still no.
But does the fact that it exists mostly subjectively mean nothing at all? My answer is definitely hell no.
Now I say, if you believe in it, it exists, and if you don’t, it doesn’t.
The make-beliefs that I didn’t put into consideration before are now playing an important role.
Because if I believe in something, don't my views, my actions, and my whole entirety change according to it?
And if the effects are real, is it still easy to say that what I believe in doesn’t exist?
Perhaps that's the whole point about love. Its reality lies in the way we live the idea.
So consequently:
- I don’t think there’s a universal truth about this kind of love. No rules and no guidelines, like ‘if he does this then he doesn’t love you unconditionally’, or other mumbo jumbos.
- Love is much much more personal than I thought, and that’s why I think it is important to find someone who has the same belief about what it is.
- The thought shows me how our ability to create our own reality is amazingly vast, which is also the subject of some schools of thought, such as idealism and Buddhism.
And on a more personal note, well, now I get to love again.