Foolproof

"A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

- Douglas Adams

In my first year of college, I lived with a friend of mine. We rented a house together.
He was quite smart, and he always wanted everything to be done quickly.

One day, I saw him writing a text message.
I could see that it wasn’t a regular message since it took him a long time to finish it.
So I said to him, “What are you writing?”
“A text message for Ben,” he replied. Ben is another friend of mine.
“Why do you look like you’re thinking hard?”
“Coz Ben never gives a quick answer,” he answered. “Every time I asked something to him, he always managed to ask me back before giving me the answer. Just like when I asked Lil’s phone number, remember? We texted back and forth just to be clear which Lil we’re talking about. For crying out loud, there’s only one on campus. I wasted my money just for texts.
Now, I need Jules’s number. But I’ll make sure he give me a quick answer. I’ve already written all there is to know about her. Her class, what she looks like, who she hangs out with, where she’s from, anything! There’s no way he can get out of this.”

So he sent it.
In no time, Ben’s reply came. We saw it together as he opened it.
I laughed so hard, seeing what he had written.

“WHAT FOR?”

How to Break a Tearjerker

I watched this show the other night. I’m not gonna tell you what it was, except that the show had female contestants.
At one time, a contestant was brought on the stage. And the host contacted her mother (she was from another town) via long distance call. It turned out that the mother wasn’t so keen about her daughter’s decision to move to Jakarta pursuing her dreams. At the end of the conversation, the contestant asked if she was allowed to speak to her mother. The host gave her the chance.

So she said between her sobs, “Mother, I know we’ve had our differences. But understand this; I’m doing this not only for my self, but for you. I love you and all I’ve ever wanted is to make you proud. I also want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I would not be here if it weren’t for you. Please pray for me always. I love you.”
By the time she was over the room was filled with sobs. The girl was so moving and genuine. Everyone couldn’t help but to feel for her and her love for her mother.
A moment of silence…
Then her mother replied with a loud voice,
“What? I’m sorry Darling, I can’t hear you. What did you say?

What a blower.

The Worst Song in the World

It’s Happy Birthday. Why?

Because for the birthday boy/girl it's three minutes of awkwardness filled with constant effort to stand still, do nothing, and listen coz you can’t sing with them since the song is about you, whilst keeping a smile no matter how dry your teeth it makes just for the sake of not letting anyone down, without the slightest chance to hide your face and take a break because everyone’s staring at you from every direction.

Come to think of it, maybe it’s the same for the singers. The only difference is that they get to sing.

A Self-Assured Criminal

For the past weeks my family had consumed this wine. It was a simple, red wine. My brother was the one who first brought it home. He also did all the buying since he was the only one who knew where to get it.
One time, my father told me to get it. So I went with my brother. He told me to bring the bottle with me to make it cheaper. With the bottle in my hand, we rode a motorcycle to the place.

Once we got there, my brother dropped me off because he had to draw some money.
I watched him go, and then walked lightly to the place. I hummed and swung the bottle back and forth. Some people looked at me, but I didn’t care. I approached a guy who was sitting next to a few empty bottles. I showed my bottle and said to him, “I want to buy this… wine please.”

He gave me a funny look than check my bottle. “I’m sorry,” he said. “This one’s out, the cops confiscated all of them yesterday.”
I could feel my heart stop beating.
“What?” I said. “Cops? Confiscated? You mean these things are illegal?”
No wonder everyone was looking at me!
So I hid the bottle in my arms and went straight home.

"Don’t be so humble - you are not that great."

- Golda Meir, to a visiting diplomat

Haywired Circadian Part Deux

Remember what I said about haywired circadian? I said that one way to get through it is to hold your sleep until it is the appropriate time.
Well, I forgot to mention something else. It’s gonna be a lot worse before it gets better.

Yesterday morning, I tried to stay awake when I was supposed to sleep (I used to sleep as dawn broke). And I managed to do that.
By night, just like everyone else, I began to feel sleepy. So I went to bed and fell asleep soon right after.
Hooray! Everything’s back to normal right?
Well it didn't.
I slept as if I hadn’t for two days. I woke up at 11 am, even worse than before.
And I thought I would get up in the morning just like everyone else.
Thank God, my clinic doesn’t start before 1 pm. I got prepped quickly, and went to work.

I’m going to bed after this. Let’s see how it turns out tomorrow.

Not a Martian nor Venusian

Have you read Mars and Venus Together Forever: A Practical Guide to Creating Lasting Intimacy? It’s a book from John Gray, PhD.
I haven’t read it either actually. I just found it on my cousin’s bookshelf one day and strolled through its pages quickly.
I thought it would be all about Men-Women jokes. Well, not jokes, just funny Men-Women facts.

But I was wrong. It is a book about marriage; how to succeed one considering that men and women are so different in nature that they may have come from different planets.
Basically it tells men to be more sensitive, and women to be more… well, INsensitive; and voila, a good marriage.

I’m not going to talk about it. I just want to say that it made me realize something. In the book, men are all macho, logical, and incapable of feelings; while women are all about feelings.
I can’t say I can connect with that. Based on the book, I’m neither a man, nor a woman.
I think I’m quite logical, but some events make me cry. Hell, some movies make me cry. I hate dressing up but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate beauty (in fact, I can see beauty from the most mundane things). I watch Hikaru Koto (an AV Idol/porn actress) and Before Sunrise (a low-budget flick). I read about serial killers and how to make your own Christmas cards. I even like to talk about boobs AND feelings.
So what does it make me? A Martian? A Venusian? Is it important?

Maybe not. But now I know why I always fall for tough girls.