(n)
a miserly or stingy person; especially: one who tries to avoid paying a fair share of costs or expenses
source: the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary
"OK so I went out with this cheapskate, he asked if I wanted to split a cheeseburger?"
Monday, August 24, 2009
Attraction of the Same Kind
There’s something I’ve noticed ever since my early years in medical school. I always attract similar thoughts and personalities. Well basically… similar people.
I never wanted to be a doctor actually. I can’t even remember how I picked this major.
Neither do my friends. And I mean most of my friends. Nine of my closest friends never wanted to become a doctor. And their reasons are equally pathetic, ranging from disliking physics (??), false belief about the amount of paperwork (someone actually thought that paperwork is less in medicine, just how wrong it is), and my favorite reason, “because someone I don’t even remember mentioned that prospect once.”
What a bunch of goofballs.
But don’t get me wrong. We all graduated with good grades.
I never wanted to be a doctor actually. I can’t even remember how I picked this major.
Neither do my friends. And I mean most of my friends. Nine of my closest friends never wanted to become a doctor. And their reasons are equally pathetic, ranging from disliking physics (??), false belief about the amount of paperwork (someone actually thought that paperwork is less in medicine, just how wrong it is), and my favorite reason, “because someone I don’t even remember mentioned that prospect once.”
What a bunch of goofballs.
But don’t get me wrong. We all graduated with good grades.
Something to Remember
Darling, I’m gonna prove it to you.
I’ll be a fearless traveler!
I’ll be a good writer!
I’ll be a good doctor!
I’ll be an environmental protector!
I’ll have a magnificent life!
I’ll find God!
:)
I’ll be a fearless traveler!
I’ll be a good writer!
I’ll be a good doctor!
I’ll be an environmental protector!
I’ll have a magnificent life!
I’ll find God!
:)
Sober
I’m sober now.
And all happened only in one night.
This reminds me of what my parents used to say, “The pain may never go away, but it gets faster to heal every time it comes.”
I guess they were right.
And all happened only in one night.
This reminds me of what my parents used to say, “The pain may never go away, but it gets faster to heal every time it comes.”
I guess they were right.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Definitely Not Superhuman Anymore
I have a very very excruciating pain right now. From a trauma I had recently.
Wait a minute,
it’s not recent at all!
It was eight months ago. It was December 08!
How the hell have I not forgotten anything about it?! I hate myself for being so weak.
Actually I was rather fine for the last five months. I mourned for three months, and got my life back for five months.
But then, out of the blue, without any glimpse of sign, I woke up and found it lying next to me.
God, will this torment end?
For all the wise guys out there, let me tell you something.
I know about all the healing crap theories.
The only reason the pain comes back is because you want it. Deep inside you love to be tormented, tortured. You love to be in pain. You invite the memories.
Fuck!
I DON’T WANT IT TO COME BACK!! Who’s in the right mind would want something like that?! Okay, I know that some people do. But not me! I never invite the memories to come in. They just break their way in. How can I control something that comes without my consent?! That’s nuts. And believe me I’ve tried every single way to get off of them. But they always find a way. If they can’t do it in my consciousness, they do it when I’m unconscious. Nightmares, nightmares all the time.
Happiness is a choice. You have the freedom to be happy, despite everything.
Maybe. But it’s exhausting to be happy based on solely because you choose it for the last eight months, okay?! Can’t happiness just come? Must I always choose it? Can’t my urges be happy thoughts so I don’t have to dismiss them all the time?
Embrace it
This is the best advice I’ve had. Every time choosing happiness fails, I always try to embrace. But sometimes it makes me sick. Sick because I can’t see any way out of this mess. Sick because I feel no hope for getting out. Sick because I’m tired.
So I said to God,
I know this is wrong God, but can’t You do a tiny bitsy thing and SMITE THAT BITCH A BIT?!!!
She’s damn happy with her lying-backstabbing-angelic-devilish-disgusting face. She’s got all her friends, she’s got all her lies that keep her popular while render me the bad fucking guy, she’s got all the support she needs. She wouldn't even admit our relationship. Fuck this!
Can’t You do some justice?!
I hate her. I hate what she puts on me. I hate that she’s happy.
God, I hate everything right now.
So much for a stable man. So much for being superhuman for five months.
Crumbled to pieces. Back to square one.
PS: for all you twirks who are always so judgmental when someone tells his/her story to you, well you can go to hell. The last thing they need is your arrogant judgment.
Wait a minute,
it’s not recent at all!
It was eight months ago. It was December 08!
How the hell have I not forgotten anything about it?! I hate myself for being so weak.
Actually I was rather fine for the last five months. I mourned for three months, and got my life back for five months.
But then, out of the blue, without any glimpse of sign, I woke up and found it lying next to me.
God, will this torment end?
For all the wise guys out there, let me tell you something.
I know about all the healing crap theories.
The only reason the pain comes back is because you want it. Deep inside you love to be tormented, tortured. You love to be in pain. You invite the memories.
Fuck!
I DON’T WANT IT TO COME BACK!! Who’s in the right mind would want something like that?! Okay, I know that some people do. But not me! I never invite the memories to come in. They just break their way in. How can I control something that comes without my consent?! That’s nuts. And believe me I’ve tried every single way to get off of them. But they always find a way. If they can’t do it in my consciousness, they do it when I’m unconscious. Nightmares, nightmares all the time.
Happiness is a choice. You have the freedom to be happy, despite everything.
Maybe. But it’s exhausting to be happy based on solely because you choose it for the last eight months, okay?! Can’t happiness just come? Must I always choose it? Can’t my urges be happy thoughts so I don’t have to dismiss them all the time?
Embrace it
This is the best advice I’ve had. Every time choosing happiness fails, I always try to embrace. But sometimes it makes me sick. Sick because I can’t see any way out of this mess. Sick because I feel no hope for getting out. Sick because I’m tired.
So I said to God,
I know this is wrong God, but can’t You do a tiny bitsy thing and SMITE THAT BITCH A BIT?!!!
She’s damn happy with her lying-backstabbing-angelic-devilish-disgusting face. She’s got all her friends, she’s got all her lies that keep her popular while render me the bad fucking guy, she’s got all the support she needs. She wouldn't even admit our relationship. Fuck this!
Can’t You do some justice?!
I hate her. I hate what she puts on me. I hate that she’s happy.
God, I hate everything right now.
So much for a stable man. So much for being superhuman for five months.
Crumbled to pieces. Back to square one.
PS: for all you twirks who are always so judgmental when someone tells his/her story to you, well you can go to hell. The last thing they need is your arrogant judgment.
Not Superhuman (Anymore)
My girl went completely gone for 7 days, blew my adrenaline levels to the roof for the sake of finding her. And she turned up on the 7th day, all happy, fine, and in a relationship with someone else.
I hate her ever since.
Hmh... Nope.
My girl left me for another man she claimed she hated. I wonder how much had she lied to me then?
Well, I hate her ever since.
Hmh... Nope.
I hate her after a series of me forgiving her to be screwed up again the very same day.
Hmh... Nope.
I hate her after finally when I tried to forgive her for a 100th time, she just said that she didn’t want to talk to me anymore.
Yep. That’s it.
For all the fuckups she had done, couldn’t she cope with my way?! Why do I have to follow her way?
Fuck her.
I hate her ever since.
Hmh... Nope.
My girl left me for another man she claimed she hated. I wonder how much had she lied to me then?
Well, I hate her ever since.
Hmh... Nope.
I hate her after a series of me forgiving her to be screwed up again the very same day.
Hmh... Nope.
I hate her after finally when I tried to forgive her for a 100th time, she just said that she didn’t want to talk to me anymore.
Yep. That’s it.
For all the fuckups she had done, couldn’t she cope with my way?! Why do I have to follow her way?
Fuck her.
Anything, Any Damn Thing
It just came to me that I can write anything here.
I always think a lot before I write something down.
Well not anymore.
Coz in the end, blog is crap right?
And that’s what I will do.
I’ll write my crap.
Where else to put it?
No one’s gonna read this anyway.
I always think a lot before I write something down.
Well not anymore.
Coz in the end, blog is crap right?
And that’s what I will do.
I’ll write my crap.
Where else to put it?
No one’s gonna read this anyway.
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