Anything, Any Damn Thing

It just came to me that I can write anything here.

I always think a lot before I write something down.

Well not anymore.

Coz in the end, blog is crap right?

And that’s what I will do.

I’ll write my crap.

Where else to put it?

No one’s gonna read this anyway.

Bad Religion, Good Religion -in terms of comfort and authenticity-

A bad religion has answers for every important question in your life, even if the answers are forced and doubtful. You will know for sure what to do to skip hell. You will feel safe and secured; you’re not tortured with confusion, a feeling of being lost, and a feeling of not knowing.

A good religion doesn’t answer your questions, because it simply has no answers for them. It promotes reflection, creates a seeker, a searcher. It makes you feel alone, lost, and bleak. Because you don’t know what to do, you may not even know who God is. It keeps you constantly moving, searching for the real God, a new sight that changes you forever.

Finally, you will have to choose, comfort or authenticity?

A Journey and a Car

Sometimes I think religion is like a car, and salvation, enlightenment, or whatever you want to call it is somewhere you want to go using that car.
• A car doesn’t do much good if it doesn’t take you to your destination, but people seem to be fulfilled and happy just being inside one, even if it doesn’t move at all.
• The car is never the destination, just being inside doesn’t mean anything. It’s the journey that matters.
• Therefore, a good car is so uncomfortable that you never forget your destination.
• A bad car on the other hand is so cozy that you don’t even remember to drive.
• You can even abandon your car, and sometimes if it holds you back, you should.
• Humanist atheists don’t use cars, they ride motorcycles. Hey, as long as they’re moving ahead right?

Introduction

People who are close to me know how much I fear and despise religion. To me, religion is one of those ugly overblown things. I really don’t know where to start when it comes to talking about why I think religion is prone to stupidity, mistakes, hatred, and violence. That is why it is so hard to break it down to pieces, let alone communicating it.

So, this is what I come up with. I will write a series about it which will be labeled "religion". They will not necessarily be organized, they can come in short stories or long and dull explanation, they may even overlap, talking about the same thing.

Nevertheless, hopefully they will help me sort things out, place them in an organized structure, and find me new ones.

Kepercayaanku Dulu dan Sekarang

Sit and Pray

I was not in a good mood today. My problems got ahead of me. Well, one particular problem got ahead of me.

And in this kind of days I'm thankful for my friends. For they are always there for me, saying the right words, reminding me of anything I've taken for granted, telling me that everything will turn out fine.

One thing did stick out though.
One of them told me to pray.

The words were so powerful that it got me silenced. I actually remembered the last time I prayed, really prayed. It was about a month ago. But the point is that I didn't pray as many as I should. All this time I've been counting on my strengths, trying to fight with all that is happening. I never got to pray and let it go. I never got to embrace it and thank God for it, how horrible it was.

So today, for the first time in a long time, I sit and pray.

Encounter in a Night, Ghastly

Most people who have a dog know that dogs have different voices for different situations. They don't just bark, they growl, howl, whine, and do other noises. They are all fine, except for one kind of noise which frightens me. It's the sound they make when somebody nearby dies. It's that part whining, part howling, with a bit of a crying sound.

I remember when my dog made that sound. I was on my mattress, trying to sleep when he started to do it (I sleep on the floor, right next to my living room). One of my neighbors had just died, so I figured that that had to be the cause. I didn't give it much attention because he was standing by the window, starring outside, while I was safe inside my house.
So I closed my eyes again until I realized I wasn't alone anymore. A warm presence was there beside me.
I opened my eyes. My dog was standing next to me, starring at my living room. He was breathing fast. And then he started to do the noise.
I could feel my heart beating. Whatever he saw was in my living room. For God knows what reason, I lied perfectly still, deliberately not moving any parts of my body. Perhaps I believed my action would fool that thing into thinking that I was asleep.
I couldn't remember how long I stayed awake. But in the end, I did fall asleep.

Now, sometimes I still hear my dog make that sound. But at least he always stares outside when he does it, which is of course a very welcomed feat.