There's a time in every weekday when I close my eyes and shut the world outside. The time varies but the place is always the same. It's a street right beside Jatinegara market. As the bus that takes me home passes it, I will be found cowering, eyes tight until I'm sure I'm well off the place.
I never have the guts to see,
not with all the horrid torture that's going on.
Ever since I was a child, I've always hated the characters in the movies who do nothing but shut their eyes when someone close by is getting hurt. They even cry sometimes, although of course it doesn't mean squat in the eyes of the victim because the hurt is still on. It only makes it a selfish action. The cowards only care about their own feelings. Even if their hands are tied up, the least they can do is watch and be there for the victim, all the way, sharing the pain.
Obviously, I'm just as bad as the cowards. And that's why it kills me to write this. Because I know that none of it is going to make a difference anyway. It's no better than shutting my eyes tight, like what I have always done in the bus. The only thing that can change anything is money, and my pockets are as empty as a eunuch's underpants.
But, I'm still writing it anyway.
I guess at the very least, I have some hope that it will remind me of what I have to have. I want money, a whole lot of it. Maybe by then, only by then, will the monkeys, birds, cuscuses, rabbits, fishes, and all the poor creatures feel any difference.
Although of course, my heart hopes for a time a lot sooner.
A lot, lot sooner.
I never have the guts to see,
not with all the horrid torture that's going on.
Ever since I was a child, I've always hated the characters in the movies who do nothing but shut their eyes when someone close by is getting hurt. They even cry sometimes, although of course it doesn't mean squat in the eyes of the victim because the hurt is still on. It only makes it a selfish action. The cowards only care about their own feelings. Even if their hands are tied up, the least they can do is watch and be there for the victim, all the way, sharing the pain.
Obviously, I'm just as bad as the cowards. And that's why it kills me to write this. Because I know that none of it is going to make a difference anyway. It's no better than shutting my eyes tight, like what I have always done in the bus. The only thing that can change anything is money, and my pockets are as empty as a eunuch's underpants.
But, I'm still writing it anyway.
I guess at the very least, I have some hope that it will remind me of what I have to have. I want money, a whole lot of it. Maybe by then, only by then, will the monkeys, birds, cuscuses, rabbits, fishes, and all the poor creatures feel any difference.
Although of course, my heart hopes for a time a lot sooner.
A lot, lot sooner.
Dude, I strongly disagreed.
ReplyDeleteYou need to have money, yes, it's a fact of life. But you ain't need to be stinkin' rich to make changes.
Changes are not about how big the impact would be, but about how we dare to think that they can contribute positively, no matter how small the impact might be. And then to keep those dreams alive, with flexibility to adjust them from time to time.
Also, how do you define 'big changes' anyways?
If you can put a smile in someone else's face in every fortnight, you'd make 780 people happy when you've reached your 30th birthday.