Three days ago my father had this seminar about marriage in church. He had told me to come because I asked a question earlier, and he was interested to hear the answer. I didn’t go, but that’s not what I’m about to talk about.
This question is.
If you don’t see the problem it proposed, let me tell you a bit about myself.
I have always seen man-woman-love (from this on will only be referred as ‘love’) as something that doesn’t have anything to do with divinity.
It’s even worse.
It hinders it.
The reasons? I’ll go as brief as I can.
- It’s something primal; it only comes because in terms of reproduction, we’re sexual beings. Ever wonder what would happen if we were all asexual beings (not even a spark of attraction to start with)?
- It usually comes from insecurity. If I had a dime every time someone answered ‘because he/she loves me’ to the question ‘why do you love him/her?’ I’d be awfully rich by now.
‘Love’ is less about adoration, and more about attachment to a person who can give us what we need. He/she is not a subject we adore. They’re simply a tool to fulfill our own insecurities about ourselves.
‘I love him because he loves me.’
That sounds bloody awful doesn’t it? Just how insecure is it to love someone simply because they love us?
- It’s the most egoistic thing. It’s about owning someone. Yep, not just someTHING, it’s about owning someONE, a person, a real human being. I’ve heard crap about unbinding, unconditional love, but that’s just bullshit. ‘Love’ is always sexual, which means that it will always try to own someone. You can try not to own him/her, but the desire will always be there. Unconditional or unbinding love does exist, but it is certainly not this kind of love. Let’s not pretend something that is not.
- It doesn’t even last. It appears and vanishes. It doesn’t even go beyond our time in this world (till death do us part). Most of us believe that in the afterlife, this kind of love is not even relevant anymore, for we will be shimmered in greatness beyond our understanding, and our sexes stop being an attribute anymore.
- It’s not that special. It can happen to more than one person. It’s not necessarily a one time thing. In years, it even becomes no more than a contract. ‘I’ll cut myself from any prospect with someone else as long as you do the same.’
So what is ‘love’ in the end, an illusion?
No wonder in many spiritual searches, this ‘thing’ is deliberately left behind. The last thing we need to become a higher being is something that has primal roots, comes from insecurity, is self-centered, doesn’t even last, and isn’t special, right?
Anything comes from our lower self must be let go (do you know that Kwam Im used to be a man? He transformed to be a woman just to show how irrelevant sex was).
So, why does the Church who’s all about becoming a higher being and getting closer to God have this sacrament about wedding? Why does it care for this illusion? What does it see from it?
The usual answer is that because a man’s love for his wife represents the love Christ has for His church.
Yeah.
I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a load of crap.
I really apologize.
But hey, it’s not even understandable. What the hell is that supposed to mean? It’s vague, it’s unrealistic, and it doesn’t touch anything in life.
I prefer real answers as stupid as they may be.
- Yep, this kind of love may not have any relevance in eternity but it still feels great. I mean, really wanting someone and knowing that someone wants you back feel awesome. Reciprocity gives a powerful feeling don’t you think? It’s what sexuality all about. And the friendship isn't bad also.
- Sexual relationship is just as great. Sexual pleasure is something very private and personal. To let someone satisfy you while you satisfy that someone is one of the most personal ways of communication I know. No secrets, no barriers, just the naked truth (pun intended). That’s why the concept of fooling around is foreign to me.
- And finally, a choice of limiting oneself from the prospect of building relationships with others for the sake of one’s spouse is a gigantic choice. And if in history humans have incorporated God in their less important decisions, why not incorporate Him in this life altering event.
I don’t know if ‘love’ is the right thing.
All I know is that I still want it (especially if the one across the aisle is Mila Kunis… mm… God on high, hear your people’s cry).
And finally yeah, I have some ideas now why the Church gives wedding sacrament.
This question is.
“Why the hell does the Church have to have anything to do with marriage?”
If you don’t see the problem it proposed, let me tell you a bit about myself.
I have always seen man-woman-love (from this on will only be referred as ‘love’) as something that doesn’t have anything to do with divinity.
It’s even worse.
It hinders it.
The reasons? I’ll go as brief as I can.
- It’s something primal; it only comes because in terms of reproduction, we’re sexual beings. Ever wonder what would happen if we were all asexual beings (not even a spark of attraction to start with)?
- It usually comes from insecurity. If I had a dime every time someone answered ‘because he/she loves me’ to the question ‘why do you love him/her?’ I’d be awfully rich by now.
‘Love’ is less about adoration, and more about attachment to a person who can give us what we need. He/she is not a subject we adore. They’re simply a tool to fulfill our own insecurities about ourselves.
‘I love him because he loves me.’
That sounds bloody awful doesn’t it? Just how insecure is it to love someone simply because they love us?
- It’s the most egoistic thing. It’s about owning someone. Yep, not just someTHING, it’s about owning someONE, a person, a real human being. I’ve heard crap about unbinding, unconditional love, but that’s just bullshit. ‘Love’ is always sexual, which means that it will always try to own someone. You can try not to own him/her, but the desire will always be there. Unconditional or unbinding love does exist, but it is certainly not this kind of love. Let’s not pretend something that is not.
- It doesn’t even last. It appears and vanishes. It doesn’t even go beyond our time in this world (till death do us part). Most of us believe that in the afterlife, this kind of love is not even relevant anymore, for we will be shimmered in greatness beyond our understanding, and our sexes stop being an attribute anymore.
- It’s not that special. It can happen to more than one person. It’s not necessarily a one time thing. In years, it even becomes no more than a contract. ‘I’ll cut myself from any prospect with someone else as long as you do the same.’
So what is ‘love’ in the end, an illusion?
No wonder in many spiritual searches, this ‘thing’ is deliberately left behind. The last thing we need to become a higher being is something that has primal roots, comes from insecurity, is self-centered, doesn’t even last, and isn’t special, right?
Anything comes from our lower self must be let go (do you know that Kwam Im used to be a man? He transformed to be a woman just to show how irrelevant sex was).
So, why does the Church who’s all about becoming a higher being and getting closer to God have this sacrament about wedding? Why does it care for this illusion? What does it see from it?
The usual answer is that because a man’s love for his wife represents the love Christ has for His church.
Yeah.
I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a load of crap.
I really apologize.
But hey, it’s not even understandable. What the hell is that supposed to mean? It’s vague, it’s unrealistic, and it doesn’t touch anything in life.
I prefer real answers as stupid as they may be.
- Yep, this kind of love may not have any relevance in eternity but it still feels great. I mean, really wanting someone and knowing that someone wants you back feel awesome. Reciprocity gives a powerful feeling don’t you think? It’s what sexuality all about. And the friendship isn't bad also.
- Sexual relationship is just as great. Sexual pleasure is something very private and personal. To let someone satisfy you while you satisfy that someone is one of the most personal ways of communication I know. No secrets, no barriers, just the naked truth (pun intended). That’s why the concept of fooling around is foreign to me.
- And finally, a choice of limiting oneself from the prospect of building relationships with others for the sake of one’s spouse is a gigantic choice. And if in history humans have incorporated God in their less important decisions, why not incorporate Him in this life altering event.
I don’t know if ‘love’ is the right thing.
All I know is that I still want it (especially if the one across the aisle is Mila Kunis… mm… God on high, hear your people’s cry).
And finally yeah, I have some ideas now why the Church gives wedding sacrament.
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