A BRAND NEW Reflection on Relationships

I once wrote that a true relationship can only be reached when there is a common ground. The closer the common ground is to our hearts (beliefs, perspectives, what we love), the better it becomes.

In a way, I still believe that.

However, yesterday I found out an interesting take on a SIMILAR subject in a work.
In the work, the writer wanted to determine what really constituted a FRIENDSHIP.
He tried to do this by observing the ones around him.
From his observation, he noticed that people of different nature had good friendships. So, he concluded that differences between the persons involved were the ones that constituted a friendship.
In other words, differences make a relationship work.
Besides, differences give people a chance to complement each other, right?

However, as time went by, he found that people with more things in common also had good friendships, and even at occasions, better than some who didn’t.
This finding put the previous answer in shaky grounds.
Do differences really constitute a friendship? Or do things in common that really do the job?

He gave it another thought,
and finally he was able to reach a conclusion.

In Greater Sense

Have you experienced something like this?

• There's a well-known saying or sentence.
• Somewhere along your life, you suddenly find a much deeper meaning in that sentence, and you begin to see why it is so popular in the first place.
• You feel excited, ecstatic about this new understanding that has been revealed to you.
• You call your friend, telling him/her about it, hoping he/she will get the excitement that you get.
• But you're left disappointed, upset, and frustrated because your friend doesn't see your perspective. He/she is trapped in the popularity of the sentence, failing to see something valuable because it is heard too many times.
• So in frustration you say, "No, there's a wholly deeper meaning to it. If you see it, you'll get fired up like I do."
• "Okay," your friend says. "So tell me then."
• You open your mouth, but lo and behold, you can't find any words to explain it.
• And after a while of silence, you have no choice but saying that very same sentence again, no words added or subtracted, only with louder voice.
• And your friend replies, "Of course. I know that. It's obvious, isn't it?

Aaargh!
I hate it when it happens.

A couple of days ago, I had it TWO times in a day! One's involving a philosophical idea (not gonna touch it), and one's about Indonesia.

This is what I said.

Someone to Ignore Me

I have this female friend.
We barely see each other, and even if we did, we would just drown ourselves in consuming what's on the table in front of us or watching our surroundings.
In a way, she's not a best friend to me, and neither am I to her (I think).
However, I always consider my relationship with her as... something unique.

Why?

Because she's close enough for me to share the deeper things, but not close enough to get me hurt if she doesn't listen at all, which she most likely will.
It's not that she completely ignores me, she hears me, in fact, she listens attentively, it's only that she just doesn't take it all by heart.
Or basically, she doesn't give a shit.

I know how bad it looks, but actually, it can be helpful sometimes.
Especially in times when I feel like my head is going to explode and I'm already jaded of going through every bit of the problem over and over again.
When I decided to talk to her, occasionally, her stance would get to my perspective.
I would come to realize that the once-larger-than-universe-problem was something that didn't deserve my full throttle attention and worries.
Cool, isn't it?

Yeah well, anyway, I don't recommend doing that to your friends who desperately need you though.
You can turn up gambling for your friends' life for all you know.

**V*

You asked me if I did.








Yes Doll, I do.














I can't find better words.

Miss Indonesia Qory Sandioriva’s Interview in Miss Universe 2010

Being a woman, what piece of advice would you give to a man?

I think that when you downed the women can make you up and(s) I think that women can be said they I have advice for you that (em) if you way up you have to be nice to people (ex) (e) include women so when you downed women can be [clap] nice with you.

What is the best gift you have ever received?

The best gift somebody ever given to me is the one(d) box but (e) the character is is not a good or beautiful but it’s it it have a sounds a beautiful sounds that makes me love music.

I love music now and (um) now I’m a singer and I’m study at a singer for jazz (um) for classical and of course for pop.

That is (e) makes me know what I want to do.

That makes me know what I love it what that makes me know (um) what jobs or what kind (e) activity that I love it. [clap]

What is the worst date you have ever been on?

In one restaurant and that is the day is that I know she (eh) he is a playboy so (eh) he he have a three girlfriend like (e) include me. But before that I know that they have (e) more than one one hundred girlfriend [small laugh].

It’s very bad but I know but it’s the good is now he always care for me care not be a best friend for me and he always protect me don’t please Qory don’t like me, don’t don’t don’t same like me, you you are a nice girl, you are-

So he never touch me like a you know like a playboy but (um) he always (um) make comfortable in beside her and (um) yeah it’s very bad bad [small laugh] bad day but (um) he inspiring me to be a tough woman.

-transcribed by hub-

I'll post a note later.

UPDATE

(due to certain developments, I am obliged to add something blue to my previously planned writing)

From the above paragraphs, what do you see?

If you see a beautiful dumb girl speaking in broken English humiliating our beloved country, then I suggest you bear these things in mind:

- Qory Sandioriva is barely 19 years old. I can’t remember of achieving something special now when I am in my 27th year, let alone when I was in the same age, which I believe is also the case with A LOT of people.

- Miss Universe is the largest beauty pageant in the world. You can imagine how intensely nerve-wrecking it is, being judged from every possible angle and at every second without a break. I doubt anyone can handle that.

So if you’re going to say something pointless, baseless, and unnecessarily harsh, please think it over. It’s just drop dead idiotic and rude.

Now, let’s get on with it.

Perpetuum Jazzile!

This is a performance by Perpetuum Jazzile.
It's a Slovenian jazz and pop choir. They often do a Capella, such as in this cover of Toto's Africa.
It blew my mind away. :)

The Fasting I Believe

I believe fasting is a free chosen act of soul searching, in which you deliberately place yourself in a deprived situation, which usually revolves around meals and sex, in hope of finding new insights about pain, self-limits, willpower, or even something of a spiritual origin, whether you believe it's something God puts you to do or not.

I believe fasting is something very private and personal, of which you are truly alone, connecting with your true self and the spiritual world.

I believe fasting is a matter that resides in your heart, where the planes of physical, mental, and spiritual realms collide in a harmonious chaos that is YOU.

I believe fasting is not an act caused by fear for all punishing and wrathful God, so much that you always feel threatened and ask everyone else to help you accomplish the task by limiting themselves according to your desire.

I believe fasting is not something you can take your pride from, and in arrogance empowered by the masses, used to go rampage in violent destruction, forcing anyone into closing their businesses and bowing down to your restrictions, even when they don’t share the same faith, which is easily described by a popular-seemingly-harmless-actually-troubling-saying, ‘respect the people who are fasting’.

(this does not say that I don’t respect anyone who is in the middle of a fast, it’s just they don’t get to ask me that, let alone command it)

I believe fasting is not a matter of changing the outside world to match your inner child’s spoiled desires; a thing that is apparent in situations such as the annual increasing amount of delicious food types for sale, ironically right at the time of fast, and the rise of appeals to the local government to close all food joints during fasting hours.

in short,

I believe fasting is an act of seeing inside,

and not of judging outside.

May the fasting we all do, bring us nothing but good things.